By Day Bracey
Pittsburgh Current Craft Beer Writer
Before I begin, if you’re reading this, go vote. If you have already, dope. If you don’t plan to, I envy your faith in other people to guide this country. And if sarcasm doesn’t translate well via text, I want you to know that I think you’re an idiot.
Oct. 26, 4pm: Burgh’ers Brewing makes a fried chicken sandwich brined in pickle juice. It’s like Chik-Fil-A, but with better ingredients and moral compass. It pairs well with hazy IPAs and pride parades. Maybe not so well with the Pittsburgh Marathon though.
Oct. 26, 5pm: Speaking of hazy IPAs and gay-friendly establishments, Shubrew just released King Shuboo, the latest in their Pixelated series. This stuff is so good, people lined up in the rain for it. I’m allergic to pneumonia, so I show up after doors open to chat with Zach Shumaker and David Ieong about their creation, and return the keg tap I borrowed two months ago. There’s a fire going, tents, and Pittsburgh Po’Boy serving Cajun Creole. There’s supposed to be a costume contest tonight. I hope my “Black friend” outfit wins. I put a lot of work into it.
Me: Dafuq is a King Shuboo?
Zach: This is the 11th release in our Pixilated IPA series, a series of New England hazy IPAs with a video game theme. For Halloween, we did King Shuboo, based off of the Nintendo character King Boo, Luigi’s nemesis.
Nov. 2, 5:17pm: I just now got why they call it a Pixilated IPA. BECAUSE IT’S HAZY LIKE AN OLD VIDEO GAME! Ha! Maybe I’m the idiot. Ok back to the interview.
Me: How does this differ from your other IPAs in the series?
David: This is our answer to the Halloween beer.
Me: Like a spooky beer?
David: Like a pumpkin beer.
David: So, we’ve been doing pumpkin beers for years, and I think we both kind of hit the point where we don’t want to do pumpkin beers anymore.
Me: I’m so goddamn sick of pumpkin beers. They drop them in July!
David: Everyone is sick of them. So we wanted to honor the seasonal beer, but go a different direction. Zach wanted a lactose beer, for the milky mouth feel. And we threw 400-pounds of blood oranges in there.
Zach: 420-pounds of blood oranges.
Me: I see what you did there.
Oct. 26, 8pm: I’m fairly smasty-faced after a couple of pints, and that creole smells righteous. I grab a shrimp po’boy and it’s good enough to warrant a talk with the chef, Ben.
Me: Tell me about your truck.
Ben: When I was younger I spent some time in New Orleans, so I got a real love for…
Me: Seasoning your food?
Ben: Haha. Yes. I fell in love with Southern cuisine, Louisiana in particular. Pittsburgh’s my home. So, when I moved back, I really wanted to bring that food with me. My love is to feed people, so I like to make good southern comfort food.
Me: Are po’boys all you make?
Ben: We base it around po’boys, but we have other dishes like jambalaya, red beans and rice, gumbo. But the po’boy is our best seller. We get the bread shipped in from Gambino’s bakery in Louisiana to make it as legit as possible. We care about the quality of our ingredients because it’s coming from the heart.
Nov. 2, 8pm: A comedy show at Hitchhiker. Gary built a crazy stage made out of kegs, and Andy has brewed a bunch of new shit beers that are likely to make this evening get real sloppy real fast. One of the standouts was Element of Friction, an Omega Yeast labs DIPA collaboration, brewed with oats and fermented with Kveik cultures. Don’t ask me to describe the taste, because this ain’t that kind of column. That shit is just good. Go get it before it’s gone.
Nov. 2, 10pm: I asked the men in the crowd if they’ve ever gotten the cotton swab in the peen, and they left me stranded. This leads me to believe there are a lot dirty dicks in Pittsburgh. This is unacceptable. They offer free dick tests at the Allegheny Health Department, 1908 Wylie Ave, 15219. And free condoms down at any Planned Parenthood. Because babies are a $300K chronic STD, you dirty-dick motherfuckers.